#238 Stumbling blocks or stepping stones?
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In the course of a WhatsApp phone call with a friend this evening, she shared pertinent to our conversation about personal and professional challenges - this image with me.
Amongst other things, it reminded me of the importance of mindset and perspective when facing run of the mill or cumbersome challenges.
While it is easy to offer platitudes, offering practical support is imperative.
My experience in working with students, families, and faculty alike is that when facing an issue and needing to make choices helping the individual(s) fully understand what is at the root of the presenting issue (and the associated emotions) may enable them to fully understand it and - most importantly - take agency when deciding on a path and plan to overcome the obstacle*.
* Mindful of the complexities and nuances that each individual case entails,
I am aware that this is much too simplistic for some presenting issues.
I very much work from the perspective of ‘the whole child’ when working with primary school children. I encourage them to be aware of their emotions.
So as to go beyond the simplistic emotions of happy, sad, angry and be more nuanced in describing themselves, I encourage students to refer to the ‘How are you feeling today?’ chart (see below).
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I reiterate that often we experience (unlike many traditional fairy tales!) a range of emotions at the same time and that these emotions may at times seem to be contrary.
A prime example, may be the simultaneous feelings of nervousness and excitement (often cited by students prior to joining a new school or when preparing for their first sleepover or overnight school trip).
In addition, I often ask students to quantify their emotions. By sharing their emotions in percentage terms e.g. “I’m 45% sad, 45% excited, 10% tired” and clarifying (e.g. “because I am moving back to my home country and will miss my friends here,”, “I will get to see my grandparents every weekend, rather than just for two weeks in the winter and four weeks in the summer”, and “preparing to move is really tiring emotionally and physically”, it helps identify the most pressing emotion and thus the one to focus on the most when guiding them to figure out next steps.
I often ask students (this also works well with adults) to also consider that which they can control and that which they can’t.
I very much appreciate this image for clearly delineating that which is within our control and that which is beyond. I am mindful that items both in and out of our control could be deemed to be stumbling blocks and/or stepping stones.
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Do you agree with the notion that the only difference between stumbling blocks or stepping stones is the way in which we use them? How do we use those things within our control and those beyond our control to move forwards?
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