Fierce Conversations
A few years ago I was given a book recommendation. As such, I added Susan Scott’s Fierce Conversations, Achieving success in work and in life, one conversation at a time to my ever growing list of professional reading texts. I am not sure why, but it was only in the last few weeks that I finally got to read it.
It is an easy read with practical activities and examples to illustrate key points. It sets forth the importance of coming from behind the shadows and having authentic conversations. I found it to be very interesting and enlightening on both - as referenced in the byline, “Achieving success in work and in life, one conversation at a time” suggests - personal and professional fronts.
I appreciate the wise words throughout and the consistent focus on being able to have authentic, meaningful conversations about difficult topics so as to be beneficial to all parties. I particularly appreciate the guidelines (page 149) shared in chapter four, Tackle Your Toughest Challenge Today, regarding how to have a positive 60 second opener to start a fierce conversation. The seven components of the opening statement are as follows:
Name the issue.
Select a specific example that illustrates the behavior or situation you want to change.
Describe your emotions about this issue.
Clarify what is at stake.
Identify your contribution to this problem.
Indicate your wish to resolve the issue.
Invite your partner to respond.
Whilst they are somewhat obvious in many respects, I appreciated the way it is set out and the commentary/justification for the specific steps and sequence thereof.
I very much like the essence of the quote, “All conversations are with myself—and sometimes they involve other people” (page 53). Whilst reading the text I was frequently reminded of Sarah Hurwitz’s response in her interview with Adam Grant (What Writing Speeches for Michelle Obama Taught Sarah Hurwitz about Great Storytelling). When asked about writing tips, she stated, “Your first question should be, “What is the deepest, truest thing I can say at this moment?”” While Susan Scott is focussed on conversations (verbal communication) and Sarah Hurwitz is referencing written language, both draw heavily on the importance of being present and authentic.
I think I had put off reading Fierce Conversations as I had somehow imagined it to be a heavy, academic tome. I would, however, recommend it to anyone looking at ways to improve communication and have fierce conversations.